I woke up a tad earlier than normal this morning to try to get a head start on the day. Honestly, I was feeling overwhelmed. There is this mixture of hope and sadness. My excitement for the future is intertwined with fear and self doubt. I wanted to look forward to today, but it felt more like a trap, and my expectations felt threatened by sabotage (self-sabotage being as great a threat as any other).
As I was sitting in a room with 6 windows and the October sun was gently rising, I started to think about specific things that God created. I don’t know how this happened, but something deep in my inner soul desired to shift my attention to something greater than myself. I started with galaxies, the universe, planets. Then I thought of crocodiles, tarantulas, autumn leaves, koala bears, nerves, chemical bonds, colors, sound, harmony, clouds, light, gravity… I went on and on and became consumed with awe for the Creator, blown away by God’s imagination, power and ability. It reminded me of Romans 1:20, “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities - His eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” I was also reminded of a song by Bethel, “May we never lose our wonder, wide eyed, mystified, may we be just like a child, staring at the beauty of our King. You are beautiful in all Your ways.”
So if you’re like me today you have a lot of things to do that you may or may not have signed up for. The weight of self doubt, past mistakes, the weight of the work itself, and our powerlessness to control the outcome no matter how hard we work, well that can get incredibly heavy and paralyzing. My encouragement to you is to let your imagination wonder and try to come up with a creative list of things that God created. And to balance out the seriousness of life, our responsibilities and work with a childlike innocence and wonder towards God the Creator. Almost as if we're exchanging a pair of glasses filled with anxiety, negative focus looking at everything that doesn't work for a pair that focuses on the simple beauty all around us, in people, in ourselves, in a God that is beautiful in all His ways. We need His help to do this of course.
Side note, I'm releasing a new EP entitled "Heart On My Sleeve" this Friday, that is where a lot of this intertwined excitement and fear stems from. More to come on that... Have an amazing day filled with childlike awe!