I Couldn't Make This Up
I would like to tell you a story. Every now and then certain events happen that are incredibly random and I do not believe them to be coincidence. They are inexplicable and their mathematical probability is basically equivalent to impossible. I'd like to think of them as moments when God reminds me that He is good and He cares about me, that He is in control, and that even though sometimes I feel like I'm way off track He’s still at work and I can cease striving and just simply surrender. In the words of Gregory Boyd, God is not more “there” than He is here. He is not more “then” than He is now (from an amazing book called Present Perfect). God just simply is. Whenever. Wherever.
So, my story. Two weeks ago while I was driving to a meeting I was thinking out loud, praying and being honest with God. That morning I had to postpone the Pledge Music campaign launch another week due to reasons outside my control. I had worked so many hours and was exhausted and disappointed. I knew deep down that it was okay and would still work out, but I was frustrated. Sometimes disappointment triggers the memory of events from the past when I’ve felt like no matter how hard I worked things still would’t come together. Like I was defective or something. You ever been there?
So in that moment, on that drive I had this feeling inside and said to God, “God, sometimes I feel like your playing games with me.” Now I believe that God is good, and that is the truth no matter if I feel it or not. My experiences and emotions were telling me something different than what God’s infallible word says about Him. So I knew my feeling wasn’t aligned with truth, but it still was a true emotion. I thought it wise in that moment to listen to a sermon via podcast to help feed my soul some truth to process. I had started one by Robert Morris a couple days before and randomly stopped it. So I hit play and picked it back up right where it left off.
I promise you, this is what happened next.
Robert said “The Holy Spirit speaks to us. He’s not walking alongside us trying to talk but his mouth is covered. GOD IS NOT PLAYING GAMES WITH US.”
I sat there, dumbfounded. Paused the podcast. What’s crazy is I wasn’t even that surprised. Things like this have happened enough for me to think “Wow God you did it again!” Instead I really wanted to hear what God was saying to me. In that moment I truly believe He was speaking to me from Heaven through Robert Morris saying “Brian, I am not playing games with you!! I love you. I would never lie to you or lead you on. Every word that I speak is truth and will eventually come to pass. I know you feel hesitant to trust me, but I am not a man, I am NOT a liar, and I most certainly am not playing games with you.” Yes I’m using my imagination to quote God, something I am very careful with, just know that everything I typed is rooted in what the Bible says about God,
The reason I took the time to write this blog is because I believe God is saying that same thing to you. I heard a teaching last night that said we project what other people have done to hurt us on God and bring Him down to a human level. But God is not a human, which means He is not bound by human characteristics. I wrote this blog also because God’s character has been attacked. Rumors have been spread about Him. He doesn’t need me to defend Him, but I am speaking up because buying into these lies have hindered our relationship with Him and kept us from trusting and diving into His arms.
We can’t just disregard our feelings. Jesus didn’t even do that. From Mark 14:34 Jesus said “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death… Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will but what you will.” Jesus didn’t sin in telling God how He felt and asking if there was another way, He processed through it and obeyed. I could go on and on but I need to stop there.
Allowing ourselves to feel emotions and bringing them to God can help us find the healing we’re really searching for. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’m running with you.